Mookie's Revenge

I will destroy you.

I will follow you home. 

I will hang in the shadows. When you turn around, when you feel me about to pounce, I will just be out of sight.

I know your schedule now. It's not very interesting. You were never very interesting, but I always accepted that about you. I loved your predictability. Off to work at eight am. Back by six pm. Gym after work. Dinner and a television show. In bed by eleven.

You make a very convincing normal decent human being. But I know now what you are.

What kind of decent human adopts a cat only to impress women, only to make you seem caring, capable of love, and then abandons that cat and tries to move a thousand miles away?

 

It took some ingenuity to find you. After you dumped me, when I finally made it back to the house, I saw your moving truck. They were packing the last boxes. I snuck in and nestled among the furniture.

Now in your new town I'm camped out in that abandoned lot next to your building. Some kind soul leaves cat food. That's the only reason I'm surviving. And it's not winter yet. I would die in winter. These other all season cats are insane. 

I see you're still with Sarah. She was always kind to me, and I even heard her cry when you called her and told her I had gotten hit by a car and died. That was right before you drove me and dropped me in that godforsaken field.

 

Here she is now, coming home from her morning gym workout.

I plop down on the sidewalk in front of her. I go belly up.

Oooh, hi, kitty! she says. You're so cute.

She scratches me.

What's your name, sweetie? You look like my boyfriend's old cat. He died. It was very sad. Your eyes are so blue, my little baby. Do you have a home?

I give my most pitiful meow. I put my head in her hands.

Poor kitty, she says.

After she takes me to the vet and gets me checked out she brings me home to their apartment.

He's not micro-chipped and he didn't have a collar but doesn't he look really similar to Wildcat? she says.

Wildcat was my old name.

Yeah, he says, eying me. 

I'm going to call him Mookie, she says.

 

I sleep on their bed. I cuddle her. In front of her I pretend to like him, and he pretends to like me. He gives me a few heartless head scratches. At night sometimes I see his neck and think of biting as hard as I can. I'm pretty sure I could kill him. One bite, that's all it would take. Just as I'm going in for it he turns over.

I torment him in other ways.

I pee in his dress shoes.

He's just getting used to us, Sarah says. You're a very bad little boy, she says to me.

I take a shit in his favorite running shoes. He doesn't see and puts them on. I see him containing his rage.

I walk on his computer as he's working on an email and push the email send button.

He throws me off the computer against the wall.

Sarah runs to me.

Why did you do that? she says. You could have really hurt him.

He pushed send on this email that I'm sending to like twenty people, he said. This doesn't make me look good. I don't even know why we have him.

I thought you liked cats, she said. You were always sending me funny cat videos.

 

He just gets a little mad, sometimes, Sarah tells me. But really, he's so great. He works a lot. He's very ambitious, I like that about him. He can be sweet sometimes. I mean we have our problems, we're not perfect. But I want to be with him. For a long time.

She continues to scratch my head. Okay, little fellow, so don't be so hard on him.

 

I'm not just here for those little pranks. I'm here for something bigger.

He's talking to a woman on Skype, the other woman that used the come the weekends Sarah wouldn't.

I step on the keyboard.

Ooh, hi beauty, the woman says.

I see him fidgeting, the rage about to come out but he controls it. He pushes me off.

Oh, don't do that, the woman says. I want to see your kitty.

I pick up some of Sarah's underwear in my teeth and drag it into the screen.

Whose underwear is that? the woman says.

He sees me and swats me away.

After he finishes the call, which involves lots of arguments and shouting, he comes for me.

Okay, I've been really cool and open to you being here but I'm really over it. You're making a mess out of everything. I'm going to open the patio door, and you can walk out and go somewhere else. Or else we do this the hard way. It's up to you.

I sit, motionless, watching him.

He fills the kitchen sink to the top, all the while talking to me. Do cats like water? he says. Do you like water? I don't know a whole lot about cats but the research I did do about you annoyingly cute creatures is that most don't.

He comes around and tries to kick me.

I avoid his foot but he grabs me, takes me, and plunges me in the oversized sink. I'm underwater, and I can't breath. I expected him to lose his temper, but not this. I'm clawing at him, scratching him, but he holds me underwater.

Sarah walks in. I have it timed perfectly. I see her and go limp, stop fighting underneath the water. She screams. He lets me go and I float on the surface.

You killed him, she screams.

She pulls me out.

After a few seconds, water comes out of my month. She wraps me in a towel.

He's standing there in a rage, his face red, his eyes glaring at me.

 

Let's go, Mookie, she says. Let's go.

No, he says. Everything's fine. It's all fine.

No, it isn't, she says.

He swings at her.

I go for his neck. I take a huge bite and claw at him.

She grabs pepper spray out of her bag and sprays him in his eyes.

Stumbling, he falls and hits his head on the coffee table. He is motionless.

Sarah is crying. She sits and holds me. Let's go, she says finally. Let's go.

He reaches out and grabs her ankle.

My claw meets perfectly with his face. He lets go, screaming.

I let forth a terrifying hiss. I go again at his face with everything I've got. You don't want to make me mad, you really don't.