It's important to love your body.
Not only the outside, but the inside as well. And there's so much to love, with approximately seventy-nine organs. It's really hard to choose but here I rank my favorites:
Heart. Always popular, this muscular organ is not just the metaphorical seat of emotions for humans, it provides a vital function by pumping blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system. Blood is just, like, super important since it provides the body with oxygen and nutrients as well as helps remove metabolic wastes. Anyone who knows anything about metabolic waste knows how important it is to get rid of it. I could go on and on about metabolic waste. It's not fun.
Brain. Pretty important. I mean I have my physical beauty so I don't really need to focus on my brain so much, but I'm still glad it's there.
Pons. A key part of the brainstem, the pons contains nuclei that relay signals that deal with among other things sleep, respiration, bladder control, facial expressions, and, importantly, posture. I've really been focusing on my pons recently since I'm trying to improve my posture. C'mon, pons, I say, let's sit up straight.
Lungs. Lungs are super important. I'm a big fan of mine. Mainly because the lungs process oxygen into the bloodstream and also expel carbon dioxide. Because who wants carbon dioxide in their body? Not me. Try breathing into a plastic bag and you'll find out how not fun carbon dioxide is. I did that before writing this post.
The small intestine. Although the large intestine gets a lot of the glory since it's five feet long, the small intestine is where the party is at. Also known as the small bowel, it's where most of the food absorption takes place. The real highlight of the small intestine for me is the duodenum, the part which receives bile and pancreatic juice through the pancreatic duct, which is controlled by the sphincter of Oddi. Yes, there is an actual body part in humans called the sphincter of Oddi. Small intestine, you are so cool!
Appendix. Kidding! Who needs you? Get out. I don't need you. I'll take you out myself. It's not that hard. Just a few snips, reach in, pull it out, sow yourself up. Easy.
Spleen. I like saying spleen. The spleen acts as a blood filter, removing old red blood cells and holding a reserve of blood, which is useful in case of hemorrhagic shock. It's also very environmentally conscious, as it recycles iron.
Pancreas. Located in the abdomen, it plays an essential role in converting the food we eat into fuel for the body's cells. Sometimes at night I hear my pancreas crying. Sorry, pancreas, I say. I'll eat better tomorrow.
Tongue. Tongues are weird but super useful. It helps with chewing, swallowing, and cleaning your teeth (you don't even need a toothbrush, really!). The tongue's upper surface is covered in taste buds and richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. The tongue is also apparently good for speech, but I don't use it for that purpose so much.
Ganglia. This mass of nerve endings in the brain is just fun to say aloud. Not sure what they do exactly but it's fun to say things like, My ganglia is sore today.
Although I was self-conscious about my organs when I was young, like a typical adolescent, I like them now. I make up names for them. My heart is called Rodney, my spleen is Sheila. They were dating for a while but they broke up. To my spleen I say, Sheila, it's okay, keep recycling that iron. You'll get over it. These things don't work out sometimes.
To my heart I say, Thanks, Rodney, try to keep pumping today. I know you said you were totally fine about the breakup but let me know if you want to talk. Oh yeah, also as a side note, it's not funny when you stop beating. Not funny at all. I know how you like to make jokes sometimes. Keep beating. We all need you, we really do.