Tom, Who Is a Fear Coach

Tom, Who Is a Fear Coach

I spoke to Tom, who helps people overcome their fears, from the comfort of my bed.

He was also in my bed. He’s not afraid to get up close and personal with his clients, he tells me, and it was Tom himself who recommended that we conduct our session in bed. He says he meets many patients in their bedroom, because it's often where they feel most comfortable.

Is it always necessary for your patients to wear negligees? 

No, not always. But I find that just trying something different, just going out on the edge a little can sometimes help pull ourselves out of our habits and emotions and consequently it can help us overcome our fears.

It can help us be less afraid if we wear a negligee?

Essentially, yeah. You obviously look great in it and I think that because it really accentuates your long legs it can help you with your fear, whatever your fear happens to be. Just knowing that you’re sexy and confident and amazing can help people overcome fear.

How does that work exactly?

Well, you know how you were hesitant to wear the negligee?

Yes, I still sort of am, but of course I really want to understand your methods.

Exactly. But by doing this, by you wearing the negligee, it helps us with the first step. So, what is it that you're afraid of, in terms of wearing the negligee? 

Probably feeling ridiculous, worried that people might find out, laugh at me.

Okay, good, you're worried that people might laugh at you. Let's try a little experiment. Let me look at you, let me get a really good look at you in that negligee. Okay. Ready. I'm going to laugh. It's part of this experiment. Ready? 

Yes.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. How does that feel?

Well, okay, I guess.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, look at your butt.

Really, it’s not good?

No, it’s a lovely butt. It’s really beautiful. I’m just pretending, it's part of the scenario. You know what would be helpful?  Well, if you really want to learn my methods, to do this the right way, I think you should get out of bed and start dancing.

Dancing?

Yes, dancing can really open up our emotions. It's much easier to overcome fear when we dance.

Okay. If it's part of your method, then sure.

It is. It's very important. Dance as slowly as you can. Really connect with yourself. Would it help if we put on music?

Um, sure, let's do some music.

I have some here. There we go. How's that? Let's turn the lights down a little so you can really focus.

Okay. How exactly does this help overcome my fear?

People are often afraid to move, afraid of their bodies. To overcome any fear we must not be afraid of our bodies. That is the first step.

Okay, interesting. I know you strongly recommended I wear this negligee, but do you always do your sessions in your underwear.

Yes. It's much more comfortable for the both of us.

Both of us?

Yes, both of us. You want me to be comfortable don't you, so I can help you?

Yes.

Well, I'm most comfortable in my underwear.

Okay, makes sense.

Now, just dance for a few minutes.

Do you also always drink champagne during sessions?

I do find that it's appropriate for many sessions. When we're trying to get the patient to relax, to start to understand their emotions, to look at their inner self, it can be very helpful.

Okay, so that was about three minutes of dancing. Now, tell me, how is this going to help with my fear of flying?

Your fear of flying?

Yes, that's what we're supposed to be addressing.

Oh yes, of course. For that part I need you to get back in bed. Do you want more champagne? Have more champagne. Now what exactly is it about flying that scares you?

I don't like heights. I don't like that feeling of being out of control, that I could plummet forty thousand feet.

I want you to close your eyes and imagine you're in an airplane. You're up in the air. Way up. The plane starts to shake. It's shaking wildly. It might crash! This isn't just turbulence. You look outside and one of the engines is on fire. How do you feel?

Scared. Really scared.

Oh, you poor thing. Let me give you a hug. You need a hug. C'mon here. Feel any better?

Um, not sure yet.

Okay, let's just hug. We don't have to talk. Let's just listen to Barry White sing. He has such a soothing voice.

Is this part of your method?

Oh yes, this is a crucial part. Very crucial. Don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of your fear. We'll grab that fear and conquer it. Don't you worry at all.