It's been cold recently here in New York City. Like really cold.
Like really, really cold. Like really really lots of swear words cold. And that's just inside our apartment. I've had to come up with some creative ways to stay warm.
1. Don't leave bed. Ever. Not just to stay warm but for other reasons.
2. Layers. Not just layers of clothes but emotional layers.
3. Knit a blanket around yourself. You need something to do in bed.
4. Parkas. Wear a parka. In the house, obviously. I call mine my House Parka.
5. Use the cat. If you have to leave bed, take your cat with you everywhere you go zipped up in your parka. Make sure you bring lots of treats for the cat.
6. Make underground tunnels. Connect your apartment to the subway via an underground tunnel. This is super important.
7. Cry. Let the warm tears run down your face and body. Safer than turning the oven on.
8. Sauna at YMCA. Wear your parka.
9. Get angry. Read the news and along with the anger and despair rising up will be a sense of warmth.
10. Wait. Tomorrow it will be fifty degrees warmer.
BONUS: Get a family member to buy you a heated mattress pad. It might change your life.