Good News

Do you want to hear the good news? The good news is that you’ve been fucking saved. Saved by the blood of the Lamb. And who is the Lamb? It is Christ Almighty, the only begotten Son of God. God spake, and forthwith came a little babe, born in a manger. He came to fucking save mankind. How many of you can speak to a nobler purpose?

I preach Union Square. I preach Times Square. I preach Washington Square. I got all the squares. This week I’m preaching here. I preach the gospel, and I’m honest about that shit.

I tell him I appreciate his honesty. I really do, very refreshing, but would he mind preaching a little bit away from my store? You’re right by my entrance, I say, and my customers aren’t all thrilled to hear your message.

I know why, he says. They’re drunkards and fornicators. 

Not everyone buying wine is a drunkard, I say. My customers drink moderately, I think it’s fair to say. 

They’re fornicators, he says. I know a fornicator when I see one, and those people are fornicators!

I can’t speak to that. It’s not really any of my business.

I preach a hard truth, he says. People don’t want to hear the truth about themselves. 

That might be, I say, but all I’m asking for is respect for my customers. I’m showing you respect by asking you this favor. I’m trying to do the right thing here.

I was a drunkard and a fornicator. But God touched my soul. The heavens opened and God said, Why are you destroying yourself? He struck me blind, and he told me, I will restore your sight if you preach my Word.

Listen, what if you went down a little to the corner? See those doors? That’s a concert hall, and I know for a fact that the people going to those concerts are drunkards and fornicators. They come out here and throw up all over the sidewalk. If anyone needs saving it’s those people.

He looks skeptically at the doors.

Trust me on this, I say. And if you go to the corner, I’d be willing to give a donation to your ministry. 

I will not be bought off! he says. I only accept prayers. Will you pray for me, brother?

Okay, sure, I’ll pray for you. If you go to the corner.

Thank you, brother. God Bless. He was walking to the corner. Pray for me, brother, or God will strike you down. He abhors false promises. Pray for me and I’ll pray for you.