I want to jump into mirrors. The world always looks more interesting in a mirror. I wonder what’s happening in that world. It almost looks the same, but it’s not. Just stare. Stare into a mirror for a while. You’ll see. Really stare. Everything’s slightly off. You know crazy shit's going to happen there. You see that door behind you. It’s the door you come in every morning to shower and brush your teeth. But in the mirror it’s not the same door. I mean it’s not the same shitty apartment behind that door. It’s a different world. I want to get into that world. That’s why I want to jump into mirrors so badly. One day I’m going to. One morning, I’ll dive right through. I will.
I look at myself. I snarl. You bastard, I say. You son of a bitch. You DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH ME. You do not know what I am capable of. I’m going to kick your goddam ass. You cocksucker. You are going to die, I swear to God. You way you look at me, I WILL KICK YOU SO FUCKING HARD.
I’m sorry, I say. I love you. You know I love you, right? You know I’d do anything for you. You know that, right? I love you. I can’t live without you. I love you so fucking much. I want to hold you. I want to hold you so tight. I love you. I love you.
I brush my teeth. I comb my hair. I grin. It’s a grin not a smile. I haven’t smiled in years. I only grin now. It’s one of my little rules for living. You dirty bastard, I say. Go out and make love to the world.