You know what’s awesome? Pecan pie. It’s just so good. At first you’re like, No, I don’t want any pecan pie, it’s going to taste like shit. I’m going to have apple or pumpkin pie–the classics–but when you have it, you’re like, Damn, that’s good. That’s really good.
My boyfriend is all about pecan pie. He likes other pies but pecan is his favorite.
You don’t know how to make it properly, he says to me. You haven’t mastered the essence of pecan pie. You haven’t looked into the soul of pecan pie. No one can look into the soul of pecan pie and be unchanged.
We go to a restaurant named Dolly’s when he wants pecan pie. Dolly is from Georgia.
You know, it’s amazing, he says. This is the best pecan pie I’ve ever had, and it’s only five minutes from the house. I’ve gone all over the country trying to get the best pecan pie, and I found it in my neighborhood. It’s a miracle.
When we leave, he always gives Dolly a hug.
I got pregnant.
He puts his hand on my stomach. We got a little pecan nut in there, don’t we? he says. It’s a wrinkly little pecan nut.
It’s a little baby, I say. Not some goddamn nut.
He won’t stop though.
Our little pecan is going to be the best pecan in the world, he says. It’s going to be the tastiest little pecan anyone’s ever had. I’m gonna take it to Dolly’s and she’s going to make the best pecan pie you’ve ever had. You won’t believe how good it’s going to be.
You know how human reproduction works, right? I say. You know it’s not a little nut inside, right?
He’s not listening.
I’ve had so many pecans in my lifetime, he says. I always knew I’d have a little pecan of my own. I always knew it. My own little pecan.