Chairs are so lovely to sit in.

People don't say
thank you enough. Thanks, chair, sitting on
the floor is not comfortable to me. How under
appreciated you are. No one is grateful, they
just sit and stand without thinking where their
ass has just been. If you weren’t there they
would have fallen over. I will never forget your
kindness, how you nestle my bottom, how you
let me be comfortable for a time. I know
couches get all the credit. Couches are such
egomaniacs, costing so much money, boasting
all the time about how people can both sit and
lie on them. They definitely think the spotlights
on them; they’re the stars of the living room.
But, chair, cute chair, I love how you’re so
dedicated to just one single task. Sitting is a
good thing, it’s a wonderful thing for people who
are tired, or at parties, concert halls, cafes, desks,
or at the dining room table (lying on a couch to
eat like the Romans, how terrible that sounds).
For all sorts of gatherings where couches would
be incredibly inappropriate, thank God for some
lovely chairs. So, thank you, chairs of the world,
thank you for everything.